By Shawn McKenzie 09/06/2002
I am going to rename this movie this movie The Swimfan Trailer: The Director’s Cut. Why? It’s because if you have seen the Swimfan trailer, you’ve seen the whole movie!
For those who haven’t seen the trailer, here is what the movie is about. It is the story of Ben Cronin (Jesse Bradford), a high school kid who used to have some drug problems, but is now straightened out because he has found the love of swimming. In fact, he is the star of his school’s swim team. He has a very cute girlfriend named Amy Miller (Shiri Appleby) who adores him. One day a new student arrives. She is a hot girl named Madison Bell (Erika Christensen), who catches the eye of all the guys, including Ben and his friend and swim teammate Josh (Clayne Crawford.) After almost running her over with his car, Ben offers to drive Madison home one day. She starts to get a crush on him. They end up going out for burgers, and then they go to the pool. She watches Ben do some laps in the pool, then she strips down to her underwear and joins him in the pool. Ben’s hormones get the best of him and he ends up cheating on Amy there in the pool with Madison. He quickly realizes he made a mistake and thinks that Madison realizes this as well and will keep quiet. Well…she doesn’t quite forget. In fact, she becomes obsessed with Ben. Soon she shows up at his house and meets his mom, chats with Amy at a high school party, and sends him way too many emails (like 60 plus emails a day, including partially nude pictures of herself.) This of course freaks him out, and the more he tries to avoid her, the more she monkeys with his life. As I said above, if you’ve seen the trailer, you know what happens from here, so I won’t re-spoil the movie.
There isn’t a lot to spoil about this movie anyway. This is one of the most predictable movies I have ever seen. I have a movie-going rule: if I could have written the script, it can’t be that good! This movie does not have one single surprise. The only way this movie would surprise you is if you hadn’t seen any of the zillion movies it rips off, most notably (and predictably) Adrian Lyne’s 1987 classic Fatal Attraction. Where the boiling bunny is a surprise in Attraction, the things that Madison does in Swimfan to mess with Ben don’t shock at all (I saw the email thing alone a couple of weeks ago on a similarly-themed plot line of the Showtime series "Odyssey 5.")
The only reason I am not giving Swimfan my lowest score is that Christensen did an effective job at being legitimately creepy. I can’t believe she would go from her excellent performance in the Oscar-nominated movie Traffic to this lame rip-off. She is a better actress than that.
If you want to save your money, watch the trailer for Swimfan. This will save you from spending a single cent on one of the worst movies of the year, because the trailer will tell you everything you need to know about it!
SEE THIS MOVIE!
Catch this movie at the theater if you can...
Wait until it comes out on video...
Wait until it plays on HBO, Showtime, Starz, etc...
Demand your money back, even if you saw it for free!